The holiday season can be a time of joy, but for many military families it can also come with packed schedules, long distance travel, heightened expectations, and added stress, which can increase the opportunity for conflict. To better manage disagreements, remember the acronym HALT: conflict is more likely to occur when you’re Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Meeting these basic needs can help you stay grounded and handle holiday stress more effectively.
But when does conflict arise, consider these strategies to help find resolution:
- Pause and Breathe: Take a moment to step away and focus on deep breathing. Even a one-minute break can help you reset and approach the situation more calmly. Try breathing in for four counts and out for four counts.
- Practice Reflective Listening: Once calm, focus on understanding the other person’s perspective without judgment. Listen attentively and paraphrase their words back to them, such as, “What I hear you saying is…” This shows empathy and ensures you truly grasp their position.
- Share Your Feelings, Not Blame: Use “I statements” to express how you feel without accusing the other person. For example, instead of saying, “You never include me in holiday planning,” try saying, “I feel left out when I’m not consulted about the plans.” This approach helps prevent the other person from becoming defensive and keeps the conversation focused on your feelings and needs.
- Collaborate as a Team: Shift from a mindset of blame to one of teamwork. Instead of focusing on what went wrong or who is at fault, try to frame the situation as a shared challenge that you both want to resolve. Use language that promotes collaboration, such as, “How can we handle this differently next time?” or “What can we do together to make this easier?” This approach fosters a sense of partnership, reduces defensiveness, and opens the door to problem-solving.
By staying mindful and focusing on clear communication, you can turn moments of tension into opportunities for deeper connection with loved ones during the holiday season.
For more holiday tips, view the CVN Holiday Thrive Guide.
Looking for ways to handle the holidays as a veteran or military family? We understand that the festive season can sometimes be a challenging period. That’s why we invite you to dive into our helpful resource! Follow the link below to access a variety of articles, advice, and encouragement from Cohen Veterans Network – all designed to support you during the holidays.